2/2009

It's amazing how time flies! I don't usually use this blog site, so it's nice to go back and see what has changed since the last post. I left that non profit agency! Finally, it was the best thing that has happened to me. I was very unhappy, but I am always hesitant about letting go. The great news is I started working for a non profit agency called CASA. I am almost completed with training. It is going well. I also just started back in school. i stopped classes last July because of my uncertanity of completing the degree. I wrestled with myself in many ways, not sure if I should abruptly halt what I was doing, and look into another career altogether. I did stop school suddenly withdrawing because I had a panic attack about completing an assignment. I was not able to get into the role of the counselor comfortably. I was reading a textbook that was particularily one that was the hardest for me to apply. Reading material and getting the information in your head is one thing, but having practical skills is another. I have had very limited role playing experiences I felt very intimidated with a particular assignment. I spend months wrestling with myself, and looked into alternative career choices. I have considered massage therapy, and even went to check out a local school. I also have other interest, but realized that financially I wouldn't be able to start them without any extra income. With that said, I would continue to work unhappily in my job, because my family depended on me. With a disabled husband, I am always coming to terms that this situation isn't going to change, and that our family will be a one income family for five people. That's essentially one person working for five. Think about that! I did try to find work elsewhere, but in my multiple searches nothing turned up. During this time i did get the confidence to go back to school and approach the class. I am confident that I am going to complete my degree. It's going to take me longer but I think that it is a better choice to complete what I have started. This would bring me closure to this chapter. This is also relieving the anxiety that I was experiencing about not making a choice. I realized that I needed to make a choice. I just didn't know what would be the right on or best one for me. So here I am back in school and starting new volunerr work. i never did volunteer work before, and find it rewarding so far. I think that it will hapl me find the next place for me, that will be more in alignment with who I truely am supposed to be.