December 2010

I just spent a lot of time writing a post, and when I went to publish it, it dissapeared! So, I'm not writing today, but will take the time another day. 2010 has been a beautiful year, and I thank God for seeing me through it all. I am eager to see that I make it through the goals and aspirations that I have for the new year.

December 1 2010

Yesterday I completed my Personality class. I had to complete the interview with a woman with MS named Dawn Gusty. This was my idea because I came across the article shortly afterwards signing up for the assignment. Part of me was accepting the determinism part already, after the selection that i was interested in was already taken by anothr student. I had been too late to sign up for the individual presentations. I'm glad I didn't. What attracted me to the article is that Dawn is recieving a contriversial stem cell treatment that is illegal here in the US. The Dr's here suggest that they are not doing the treatment there correctly, there are too many confounding variables that make it difficult to determine what the change may be. However, Dawn does report a significant change. Afterall, she is feeling less nerve pain in her legs, and has eliminated her medications, for the time being. My case of presenting this, I prepared myself very well, for weeks to be exact. I still became overwhelmed at the start of my speech, that I lost consciousness breifly where I couldn't recollect what it was that I was needing to say next.I stumbled over myself several times, and it' was all a blur for most of the presentation. I can barely remember what was said, I think however, I got most of the details in, although I'm sure that I appeared lost at times. I knew that this would be a challenge for me, but i know that I have come a long way. A few years ago, I was much worse, and there have been improvements. I really don't care about it anymore. I took my test, I wrote my position paper using Adler and Jung, I did not study as much as I should have, which is evident in my lower grade. However, I'm hoping if she loved our presentation, I will turn up an A minus. If so that would be good enough to keep me at the same GPA as current. Otherwise, I will have to try harder next class to keep it up. I'm hoping to at least make it Honor Roll, so that I can wear a special sash for the Graduation. I do not know who will be there. I still have three classes left, I believe and two practicums. Then I shall be done. I can finally put the past behind me. My next goal in life is to move to Washington. once that is accomplished, I will need to focus on establishing my identity there, including work, and completing my Licencure requirements for the state, and possibly starting a new venture altogether. I still ahve hopes of sewing and making soaps,dying, and possibly living in a Yurt? I'm not sure what the future will hold, but I'm so glad that I've endured these days here in Tennessee putting the foundations down for me, no matter how hard it has been. I am now largely in debt, but was it worth it? Yes I would do it again. Ultimately, I will attempt to pay my loans back, but I'm not too concerned. I will do my best. I started taking RCIA classes at St.Rose Church several weeks ago, and I will hopefully become Catholic this Spring at Easter Mass. That will be a big day for me. The next big Day will be my granduation from Trevecca. I am still volunteering with CASA. In March it will be one year. I will be looking for a new place to volunteer next year. I'm hoping to have a practicum that will lead me to a good job. I will remain part time, so that I don't get overwhelmed. I just might find somethign wroking with chronic pain clients. That is my hope, I'm not sure if it will last but it's an interest possibility for now.Peter recieved a new treatment which helped him feel better for about two weeks. That is a good thing, as he went without a cane for that time. It has been one of the most difficult things for me to do, but I'm hoping that I have become a better person for all that I do. This next month I can focus on helping the girls around the house, mostly gracie with her school work, and spending more time with Andy. They are really struggling to get along, it always creates stress in our small family. I'm also hoping to find a larger house to move to, and if not I'm pulling this carpet out if we have to stay here. This year has been the most beautiful one, and it's been so womderful being a part a a beautiful family. Every moment has been precious to me, despite the small hicups we encounter. There are some things that I need to work on in the new year, but I believe that we can make it through better then ever before. About the only part I wish to change in my life would be to have a better job that is more in alignment with my aspirations. Perhaps because I am still defining them, it is the reason that I am still where I am at. I don't want to waste my time anymore, and if it means staying where I am at for now so that I can focus on graduating, then that is in my best interest. I think that I might like to find some place to work with chronic pain patients. Who knows where this path is leading me? Sometimes I have focus and sometimes I lose it. Lets see how much the new year will provide!